2nd EDIT - 5-19-2008
No more messages! First time in about 6 months, finally!

EDIT - 3-31-2008
I've gotten it down to only 276 messages! Almost done.
Unfortunately though I'll be going away for a couple weeks so its gonna be crazy all over again. Oh well.



* music link, go listen!

It’s been such a long time now since I had much interest in being here. I’m not leaving DA by any means, just continuing my not around stint.
Being here seems like such a tedious task, the 1,677 deviations, 8 hot topics, 41 news articles and the 421 journals make it so much more of a task. I spend around 6 hours at a time each visit but I never manage to make even a dent in that number or accomplish anything.

Oddly in my vanishing and thus not submitting months my page views have gone way up, by over 200! How that’s possible I have no idea. I missed my 3,000 mark, which makes me a little sad.

I’m at a really good time in my life, I’m absolutely in love and happier than I have ever been before. I’m exploring new things and creating new hobbies and skills. Such as SecondLIfe, learning more about photography and my lovely camera, and experimenting with making handbags/purses.

Busy busy bee here, so I apologize if I seem to be ignoring you or your work. I’m not, and I will see it as soon as I can.

I guess I thought you'd be here forever
Another illusion I chose to create
You don't know what ya got until it's gone
And I found out a little too late

I was acting as if you were lucky to have me
Doin' you a favor I hardly knew you were there
But then you were gone and it was all wrong
Had no idea how much I cared

Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don't want to
Living without you
It's all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to ya babe
You're a hard habit to break

You found somebody else you had every reason
You know I can't blame you for runnin' to him
Two people together but living alone
I was spreading my love too thin
After all of these years
I'm still tryin' to shake it
Doin' much better they say that I just takes time
But deep in the night it's an endless flight
I can't get ya out of my mind

Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don't want to
Living without you
It's all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to ya babe
You're a hard habit to break

I cant go on just cant go on
I can go on just cant go on

Being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
I don't want to
Being without
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting any easier
It's the hardest thing to take
I'm addicted to you
You're a hard habit to break

-Chicago

Just past what would have been our one year anniversary. This song has nothing to do with what happened between us. But it still makes me think of him every time.

I’m sure most people have heard the phrase, “You learn something new about yourself everyday,” or something similar.
Sometimes that shows up in very unusual ways.

I always enjoyed one glass of orange juice every now and then, one glass alone used to upset my stomach. So I didn’t drink it often, the yummy taste didn’t outweigh the stomach aches.

For the past couple months I have been trying to improve my diet, more fruits, veggies, actually drinking milk, and I started to try and have a glass a day of orange juice.
I kept to that, but orange juice is sold in such small containers that I always ran out in a week or two.
Seemed silly to go to the store for orange juice, so I just picked it up whenever I was out.

And it stayed that way, till the last week. It has been exactly a week since I went to the store.
I bought two cartons of orange juice, they were gone by Tuesday.
Two! How did I manage to drink two cartons of juice? I was rather amazed and a little angry at myself.

I don’t know about everywhere else, but orange juice is never cheap. So I was mad to have blown through that all in a weekend. I decided I was just going to wait awhile before I bought more. That didn’t work out though.

I was having craving for orange juice. Orange Juice Cravings, who would expect that? I currently didn’t, I was surprised to find that these cravings than any I’ve had before over the normal stuff, fries, chips, chocolate or ice cream. I’m used to those.

I broke down, and bought more. And I think I’m starting to have a serious problem, I have had two glasses of it in the past half hour. I can’t seem to help it.

Anyone know of some 12 step problem for orange juice addiction?

I started to write a story today, been almost a year now. I have been wanting to write this for such a long time, but I’m not sure it will be something I will ever share. Some of it is very personal to me, even personal experiences. Its not going to be something amazing, just some things I want to let go of.

100 facts Tag

1) Name: Cara

2) Male/Female: Female

3) Were you named after anyone?: Yes, my Aunt Anne

4) Does your name mean anything?: "beloved" in Italian, "friend" in Irish, both "face" and "expensive" in Spanish

5) Nick Name(s): None

6) What do you think you look like... name wise:

7) Date Of Birth: 7:07pm May 13th

8) Place of Birth and Current Location: Delaware, currently Alaska

9) Nationality: American

10) Astrology Sign: Taurus

11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Goat

12) Religion: None

13) Whets your favorite smell?: Kittens

14) Political Position?: None

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: Diet Coke

16) Hair + Eye color: Depends on my mood, brown

17) Do you look like anyone famous?: No

18) What do you look like?: Tall

19) Any unusual talents?: I can touch my Uvula
with my tongue

20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: Righty

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: Bi

22) What do you do for a living?: Student

23) What do you do for fun?: Read, write, bead, play MMORPG’s

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?: Thread, and a few beads

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?: Real gems

26) Have you met your grandparents?: One of them

27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: I’ve had a boyfriend for 8 months

28) Crush: -

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?: No one.

30) Current worries?: Too much schoolwork

31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s): A few

32) Favorite place to be?: My desk

33) Least favorite place to be?: School

34) Do you burn or tan?: Tan

35) Ever break a bone?: No

36) What is your favorite cereal?: Quaker Oatmeal Squares in brown sugar

37) Person you cry with: None

Do You Have...

38) Any sisters: None

39) Any brothers: One

40) Any pets: Cyrus, my kitten

41) An Illness: Just constant flu’s and colds

42) A Pager: No

43) A Personal phone line: No

44) A Cell phone: Yes

45) A visible birthmark: Too many

46) A Pool or hot tub: Pool

47) A Car: None

Describe Your...

48) Personality: Shy and friendly

49) Driving: Not yet

50) Your clothing style: Casual

51) Room: Organized mess

52) What’s missing: I’m not sure

53) School: Pointless

54) Bed: Never Made

55) Relationship with your parent(s): Eh

56) Do You believe in yourself: Sometimes

57) Do you believe in love at first sight?: I’m not sure

58) Consider yourself a good listener: Yes

59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?: Being a mother

60) Get Along with your parents: Rarely

61) Save your e-mail conversations: Always

62) Pray: No

63) Believe in reincarnation: No

64) Brush your teeth twice a day?: Usually

65) Like to talk on the phone: Not really

66) Like to eat?: Always

67) Like to exercise?: Not really

68) Like to watch sports?: No

69) Sing in the car?: I don’t sing

70) What is a dream that you have all the time?: None

71) Dream in color. Nope

72) Do you have nightmares?: If I watch a scary movie

73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: Yes

What is…

74) Right next to you: Bookshelf, beads, paints, soda, medications, box of cereal, candles, pencils, homework, my desk is near to collapsing

75) On your favorite coffee cup?: Don’t have one

76) On your mouse pad: Its been hidden under black ink and paint

77) Your favorite flavor of gum?: Cinnamon

78) Your brand of deodorant?: Dove

79) Your dream honeymoon spot: Log cabin, winter, middle of no where

80) Your dream husband/wife: I think I’ve found him

81) Hiding in your closet?: A mountain of clothing

82) Under your bed: Ugly shag carpeting

83) The name of one of your closest/best friends?: Chris

84) Your bad time of the day: Mornings

85) Your worst fear(s): Tire swings

86) That's the weather like: Cold

87) Your favorite time of year?: August

88) Your favorite holiday?: Thanksgiving

89) A material weakness?: Books, food, beads

90) The weirdest food or drink that you like: I love mashed scalloped potatoes with bits of ham

91) At the top of your "to-do list"?: Don’t have one

92) The hardest thing about growing up: Being alone

93) A pet peeve?: Rude people

94) Your scariest moment: When my house was on fire, with me in it

95) Your attitude about love?: I love love

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?: Nothing

97) The worst feeling in the world: Loneliness

98) The best feeling in the world: Love

99) Who sent this to you?: ~VanaJewelry

100) 6 people you tag:
I guess whoever reads this